


lay my heart down,

by petitelotus



Category: Lost Girl (TV)
Genre: But mostly angst, Canon Divergance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow burn af I’m not sorry, also in this house we love and respect vex ok, also this is a huge mix of angst with little bits of fluff, and his mascara chats w/ kenz, i love these two so much, i took a LOT of liberties with this y’all, kinda alternate universe, oops lol, tbh i don’t even know what i’m doing at this point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-11-17 23:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18108740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitelotus/pseuds/petitelotus
Summary: Things have been strange ever since Inari messed with Kenzi's life. Between her feelings, all the things left unsaid, and the fate of she and her friends’ futures looming over her head, she isn’t really sure about how things are going to go or where her place in the world is anymore. But perhaps a certain werewolf can swallow his pride (and weakness) and show her that her place is right beside him.Denzi-centric, unapologetically AU and canon divergent, and written post 3x6. I’m not going to tag for spoilers since the show has been completed for a while now, and I don’t follow the events or timeline of the series closely enough to really consider anything spoiled.Revamp and continuation of a fic I began on ffn.





	1. Out of the Fox-Hole...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I just wanted to post a (sort of) brief introduction to this fic (and, like, an apology to those who read it on ffnet and felt abandoned), so here we are. 
> 
> I don’t ever give up on my fics. It might take me a hundred years to complete one that I fell off the wagon with, but I promise it will always be completed.
> 
> Now, on to the important things:
> 
> This specific fic focuses entirely on Dyson and Kenzi and their developing relationship, post the body-snatching-friend-thieving-kitsune Inari disaster. Other characters make appearances, and obviously friendships and other relationships are present, but not the main focus.
> 
> And, as I mentioned in the summary, it’s really canon divergent - at least in terms of the story timeline and the plot events that occur after ‘The Kenzi Scale’.
> 
> I took a lot of liberties with this, and have a general direction of how the story will go in my head, but also no set-in-stone plans. If you’re an old reader or a new one, I hope you enjoy and I’m sorry for babbling so much about dumb stuff!
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously do not own the rights to Lost Girl or it’s characters, and all respective rights belong to the owners and creators.

"Please - Please, don't!"

It's the sound of her voice that causes something deep within him to stir, an unrelenting force dragging him from the comfort of sleep. Just briefly, he wonders what she's doing in his home, if everything is okay - but then he realizes she's pleading with someone, and all instincts kick in. She is absolutely not okay. The wolf can smell and practically taste her fear, and it pulls him towards her without even pausing to consider asking permission. Before he can stop himself, Dyson is spiraling forwards, rocketed into motion so suddenly that he’s stumbling on still half-asleep legs.

It’s not until he’s a few feet from the door that his senses snap back together to form the realization that she’s not actually inside his apartment, like he assumed she was. No, she's outside the door and there's someone standing over her, and a desire to protect her blazes inside him - raging like a wildfire and spreading throughout his body ten times as fast, setting every nerve ending in his body on high alert and threatening to consume him entirely, and maybe everything else around him, too.

The wolf inside him howls, a primordial screech of anger and desperation and desire to keep the tiny human safe echoes inside his brain, making him wince. The will is too strong and he relents, letting the wolf take over, moving with it’s commands instead of hesitating with the consideration to go against them.

It happens almost too quickly for him to process. The threat is gone and she's safe. Thank the Gods, she’s safe. Barely even blur of movement by the time he manages to fumble his way past the door and out into the all, the threat has disappeared entirely.

Kenzi is safe.

But she hasn't stopped crying. Instead, she's crying more - louder, more violently and in a way that causes his chest to ache. Violent sobs cause tremors that surge through her body in waves, making her look like a pocket-sized human embodiment of an earthquake. For the moment, all he can think is how vulnerable she is; how small and weak and desperately human and mortal she is. Those thoughts only fuel the wolf further, practically making Dyson’s body vibrate in much more minute, almost echoed, whispered versions of the tremors of the girl before him.

At least she's no longer huddled on the ground, though. He opens his arms, intending to hug her, but something changes. It's like the world is shifting the wrong way, just for a moment, and there’s a whoosh of air and he thinks he’s going to be sick. The world has flipped and he can feel his fangs slicing into his lower lip - when had they come out, he wonders? - and nothing is louder than the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears and his heart pumps feverishly, fueled by adrenaline and the icy, cold terror that’s spreading rapidly up his spine, removing all traces of the fire he felt before.

The world seems clearer, or maybe fuzzier than before (he’s not longer sure which way is up, much less if things make more or less sense, now) and all of the sudden, Kenzi isn’t Kenzi anymore.

Well, she is. She’s Kenzi, but she’s feral - no longer crying, the raven-haired girl now displays no fear. Instead, she’s bearing a gleaming set of razor-sharp teeth at him, poised like a mountain lion ready to strike for the jugular, and he doesn’t know what to do. But the wolf does, and it makes him react, pulling the trigger without so much of a twitch of hesitation.

For the second time, Dyson watches the life fade from her blue eyes.

When Dyson wakes up, drenched in sweat and with a metallic ringing in his ears, he has to shake his head to make sure he's awake for real this time. And even though he knows he was dreaming - or having a nightmare, really - he still glances around and listens for her, only coming up with silence and an empty apartment.

 

* * *

 

Nearly two full weeks had passed since one of the worst things to ever happen to her - and Kenzi needed more than just her own two hands to be able to count all of the messed up, icky and just downright horrible experiences she’d had over the course of her life. Inari - or as she likes to think of her, the fox-y psychopath with bad acting skills and serious need for a life - really took the cake, though. Like, the whole cake. Three tiers of vanilla-chocolate marble, beautifully decorated, lemon rum icing in between the layers; the whole shebang.

Hands down, she literally could not think of a single worse moment to shoot straight to the top of her ‘life sucks, someone get me a big bottle o’ jack’ list. At least not yet, anyway.

But if Kenzi had thought that being chained up and near starved was bad - and _boy_ , did she think that she had been dealt a shit card in _that_ situation - then the recovery period was worse than she could have imagined. The prospect of being alone for the rest of her life, one that would have no doubt been shortened as she slowly finished starving to death in the crazy kitsune’s den-thing, had absolutely terrified her - but having everyone tip toe around her and treat her like some kind of pariah, as if she’d killed a cat and suggested mixing cocktails with it’s blood to celebrate her return, was almost enough to make her wish she had died alone in the cave.

 _Almost_.

She knew that realistically, it would take time for things to settle back into normal. Or at least what was considered normal for her, because the standard human definition of the word didn’t really apply to her anymore. Kenzi was still experiencing nightmares, and if anyone dared to hold her down and drag the truth out of her, she had developed a fear of the dark. Not because she thought more creepy, evil things were out to get her, but because if they were, well, how would she be able to see them? The thought of something lurking in the shadows waiting to nab her kept the small girl on her toes, anxiety hovering over her shoulders and making her jump at nearly every small noise or peripheral movement.

It was ridiculous, really. Because while her deepest fears had surfaced in her time alone, while the body-snatching fox had been out trying to steal her friends, she had held out hope that Dyson - and Bo, of course - would find her. It had been more like faith, really. She believed that they would because she had to, or else the possibility of dying was just a bit too real for her to stay sane. And they had come to her rescue - saving her life once again, making good on their promises to protect her and filling her up with the best cheeseburgers she had ever tasted. 

So why did she still feel like her body was not her own, and like her friends were miles away from her even when they were within just a few feet?

She was over it.

Over being scared, over feeling like her own friends didn’t want to be around her, over feeling like no matter how many times she showered or how often she scrubbed her skin nearly raw that she still smelt like _fox_. 

With a steely resolve that did nothing but cause her stomach to churn further, Kenzi made up her mind - she was going to get dressed, do some shots with her lovely savior and basically sister Bo, and hit the road. Well, okay, she was going to walk to The Dál Riata and try to dance some normality back into her life. And if the dancing didn’t work, Trick kept the bar fully stocked and she knew where he hid all the _best_ liquors.

She got dressed in what was likely record time for her, shifting out of her black and orange Halloween pajamas (so what if the holiday was still far off - she loved it, sue her) and right into a pair of black tights, a ruffled, lacy black skirt and a corseted top that was so midnight blue it was practically black. Over it, she threw on a sheer, sleeved mesh top. The real star of her outfit, though, and the only way it felt complete, was the new boots she had gotten herself - y’know, as a ‘ _congratulations, you didn’t die and it doesn’t matter if you’re experiencing some serious symptoms as you try to cope with what happened to you, you’ve got new boots!_ ’ present to herself. They were absolutely gorgeous; a soft black leather that hugged her legs nearly up to her knees, latched with fancy loops and decorations that looked as though they had just been pulled off some kind of period piece costume. And the best part? The bottoms were printed with a leopard pattern, something she never expected to enjoy as much as she did.

Satisfied with her appearance, Kenzi threw one last glance into the mirror before turning on her heel and heading for the stairs. With each step down, she grew more and more excited, finally jumping over the last two steps on her way down - an impressive feat, considering the fact that not only were the heels several inches high, but stem of the heel itself was relatively thin in comparison to the rest of the shoe.

“And she sticks the landing!” She proudly announced at the bottom of the staircase, throwing her hands upwards over her head as she tilted her body backwards, striking a dramatic pose like the ones she watched gymnasts do on tv competitions. 

"Very impressive, Kenz, especially in those shoes." Bo responded, glancing up from her spot on the couch with an approving nod as she appraised the new footwear. "New ones?"

"Yes!” Kenzi grinned in response, bending down to wiggle her fingers over the boots for emphasis on their newness, her black painted nails dancing up from her heel to her knee like jazz hands desperately trying to bring attention to an already flashing neon sign. “Now come on, BoBo, I need to get my dance on so I can break these puppies in."

She'd already grabbed her jacket and begun to put it on when she noticed the look on her best friend's face. Bo’s lips were turned slightly upwards in a small smile that she only presented towards a few people, and only when she was absolutely apologetic. "What? You're not coming?"

"I'm sorry, I promised Lauren-" Bo began, dropping the magazine she was browsing onto her lap as she twisted on the cushion, turning to actually face her best friend.

Kenzi cut her off with a short wave before she could finish, quickly shifting her features from the small pout that had formed on its own into a bright smile. She refused to let anything damper her attempt at a positive mood tonight - she wanted to feel better, and she didn’t necessarily require Bo’s presence for that, even if the disappointment that nestled itself behind her rib cage tried to say otherwise.

“That’s okay, you and Doctor Hotpants enjoy your fun,” She teased, a smirk playing across her lips as the smile faded. “I’ll just annoy Trick all by myself.” It was easier when it was the two of them for some reason; separately, they didn’t seem to pack the same punch. 

Bo was in motion before Kenzi could even take another step, though. The succubus slid off the couch, sauntering towards the kitchen. “I’ll make it up to you,” She called as she went, “I promise. We’ll… do Thai takeout and marathon whatever movies you want.” A series of clinking noises came as she produced a set of small glasses, a mischievous grin appearing between the two women as a bottle of dark liquor was brought into view.

“But, until then…” Bo smirked, already pouring out the liquid into each of the two glasses. “This will have to do. One drink together - Lauren should be here any minute.”

Apology absolutely _freaking_ accepted.

“Deal.” Kenzi nodded, stepping forward to take the glass she was offered. This was how her life was supposed to be - drinking and take out and movie marathons, not cold sweats and nightmares and feeling like she no longer mattered to her friends.

 _Told ya’ it’s all in your head, Kenz,_ She thought to herself, downing the contents of the cup all at once.

Before long, what was meant to be one drink had turned into two, and the next thing Kenzi knew, she and Bo’s impromptu dance party in the kitchen was being interrupted by Lauren’s arrival.

Truly, she tried not to be bitter about it. After all, it wasn’t the blonde’s fault - she had no idea how iffy the dynamics of Kenzi’s relationships had been leaving her to feel lately, and the dark haired girl couldn’t really fault the doctor for wanting to spend time with Bo. Because, well, her best friend was great and she knew that, and it didn’t matter how on the fence she was about their relationship; it wasn’t really her business. Not unless Lauren did something to hurt her friend, and then it would be her business.

But until then, Kenz decided to take the high road. She tossed up a salute at the two women, muttering a quick ‘hello’ and an even quicker ‘goodbye’ before darting out of the door and straight into the night before anyone could delay her further.

+

The walk to The Dál was not a long one, but by the time Kenzi’d actually made it inside the pub, she was shivering and very seriously rethinking her choice of footwear. As cute as they were, the boots weren’t meant for slippery surfaces. Hopefully, nobody had witnessed her slip and fall on the wet concrete, though. She had, apparently, missed the memo that said the weather was going to be gross - it had rained at some point during the day, and as the sun had begun to set, the temperature had dropped enough that she wished she had remembered to pick her jacket up again from where she’d discarded it while dancing around the kitchen. 

The inside of the bar was warm, however, and the shivers were already rapidly subsiding as she slid onto a leather topped stool, rapping her knuckles on the wood surface of the bar before her. 

“Hello, Kenzi.” Old man Trick greeted her without even having to turn around, making her feel as though he really and truly did have eyes in the back of his head. It had been a running joke before between her and Bo, but now she was beginning to think maybe they were right. Fae were weird like that.

“Trickster!” She spoke loudly, a sly smile forming on her lips as she folded her arms on top of the counter, sliding forward across it to lean on her elbows. She was trying to see what he was doing, but with his back to her it was nearly impossible to tell. “‘Sup?”

Finally, Trick turned around, revealing to her the mystery quite literally in his hands. A gold goblet was held in his left hand, and he used the right hand to tuck away a vial of a suspiciously bright blue liquid into the pocket of his vest. Immediately, she decided it was better off if she didn’t ask and she straightened back up, returning to (mostly) her side of the bar.

“Gorgons,” He told her, glancing towards the door that led to the back rooms (She had once been surprised to find out how spacious the pub was, considering how small it looked on the outside, but that was another thing she just chalked up to fae magic.) before continuing their conversation. “There’s a group of them in the back and they’re driving me insane. Are you here for drinks? Ah, of course you are.” He answered his own question before she even had the chance to blink, promptly pulling out a few select bottles of liquors and a shot glass.

“Help yourself, but please – stay on that side of the bar. I’m too busy tonight.” He fixed her with a knowing look before leaving her alone, not even allowing her the chance to consider protesting.

Kenzi watched him disappear towards the back before her gaze slid to the array of alcohol before her, bottles of varying sizes, shapes and colors. She’d have to remember to thank Trick for at least setting out her favorites. Not that it would stop her from climbing straight over the bar if she saw something else she liked, but it was a good start to deter her.

Although, a part of her wished he wasn’t busy - not because she needed the entertainment, but because she didn’t really want to be alone. But wasn’t that part of why she was out? To get back to her old self? The self that was at least slightly more confident and secure in her friendships, and definitely a lot less afraid of the things that went bump in the night?

Picking the first bottle she touched when she stuck out her hand, Kenzi poured and downed her first (okay, like, third if you counted the drinks she had with Bo) shot of the night. The brunette barely even made a face as she tipped her head back, tapping the little glass on the surface of the bar beforehand. The amber liquid burned as it went down, warming through her quickly. A few moments after the alcohol had settled, she began to pour herself a second one, choosing a different bottle - this time, the contents were pink.

Movement in her peripheral caught her attention as she filled the shot glass to the rim and her blue eyes slid sideways to steal a glance at the person now taking up the space beside her.

“Hey, lil mama,” Hale greeted her easily, dragging her full attention to him as she sat the bottle down. The moment it was released from her grip, he pulled it into his own hands, inspecting the label as if it were quite possibly the most interesting thing in the world to him. “Rough day?” He questioned, brown eyes glancing up to meet with hers.

She only rolled them in response, her gaze flicking away from him and back to the shot before her. _Try a rough two weeks,_ She thought, her words tainted with sarcasm even inside her head. It wasn’t her intention to get drunk, but it was her goal to loosen up and the best way to do that was get a few shots out of the way, and then she’d be set. Feeling good, that was what she was aiming for.

“No, I’m just bored.” Kenzi lied, turning back towards him with a smile this time. Tilting her head towards the shot, she nudged Hale with her elbow, her smile spreading wider, “Want one?”

He quickly shook his head, placing the bottle back onto the bar. “I’m good, my drink’s over there.” He nodded towards the pool table occupying one corner of The Dál. “You’re never bored,” He commented easily, sliding around on the stool to rest his back against the dark wood and prop his elbows up. “Your keeper busy tonight?”

That only earned him another eye roll, though her smile didn’t fade away. “Bo and Lauren are… having a date, I guess,” She shrugged lightly. Maybe that wasn’t the same description Bo would use - or maybe it was, where exactly she and Lauren together was still sort of unclear, at least to her - but it was what she would call it.

Hale nodded to acknowledge he heard her, but he didn’t respond immediately. He was quiet just long enough for Kenzi to decide to take her other shot.

“Alright, then do you wanna play some pool?” He asked her, sliding his arms off of the bar to gesture to the billiard.

Kenzi considered his offer for a moment, staring over at the table. It was perfectly set up, waiting for a game to begin. Normally, she stayed away from the table. Not because she didn’t know how to play or because she wasn’t good at it (you’d be surprised just how not bad she was when she wanted to be), but because Hale usually monopolized it with Dyson.

“Where’s _your_ keeper?” She shot back, one manicured eyebrow arching upwards as she returned the tease.

”More like I’m _his_ keeper, Kenz,” He laughed and slid off the barstool, holding his hand out to her. “He’s probably at home.” Hale looked as though he had something else to say, but nothing else came out and she didn’t press for him to continue.

Hopping down from her own seat, Kenzi ignored his hand and made her way straight to the pool table, abandoning the liquor set out for her. Dancing had been on her list of intended things to do originally, but she could kick Hale’s ass at pool first.

He trailed after her quietly, picking up his own cue stick before selecting a smaller, more delicate one for her. She, of course, never made anything easy and as he held it out towards her, the raven-haired girl shook her head and turned away from him to select her own.

“You know that stick is, like, more than half your size, right?”

She had pulled a medium sized one off the rack and as she glanced down at the top of the stick, just hardly below her chin - even with the several inches her shoes offered her, she was still short in comparison to everyone else.

“I’m still going to kick your ass,” She shrugged, twisting the blue chalk onto the top of the stick. “And when I’m done, you’re gonna owe me a drink.”

Again, this prompted laughter from the siren. Loud, raucous laughter that had him nearly doubling over and causing a scowl to form on her face in response.

“Okay, Tinkerbell,” He snorted, borrowing his best friend’s nickname for the human before him. It was fitting, honestly. She was just like the animated cartoon fairy - tiny, but with a temper and a knack for trouble. And cute, not that he was ever planning on letting her know that. “You shoot first.”

+

Several shots and two and a half games later, Hale was beginning to regret ever inviting Kenzi to play pool with him. They had upped the stakes after the first game - his own fault, because he called her win a fluke and when she shot back a sarcastic ‘yeah, wanna bet on that?’, he had foolishly taken her up on the offer. Now the man was out fifty bucks, and his own pride.

“Okay, yeah, no. You’re cut off,” He decided, reaching over to pull a half-finished beer away from the corner where she was preparing her next shot. “The more you drink, the better you get.” A part of him hoped she was cheating, that she had somehow rigged the table with Trick’s help to set him up and make him loose, probably as punishment for something he (or Dyson) had done but couldn’t recall doing.

“Why? Everyone here already knows you’ve lost to me twice.” She laughed with good humor. She was teasing him, but his eyes still flicked around the bar. A few people were watching but most of the bodies inside The Dál had their own things going on, a game of pool didn’t draw their interest.

“It’s not losing if you cheated.” If she didn’t know better, Kenzi would have said that Hale was actually _pouting_ about his losses.

“I am not cheating,” She snorted, focusing her attention back to her shot. He was right, though – the more alcohol she had, the easier it was for her to play. A loud crack resonated through the smokey air of the bar, sounding out just under the music that was playing the same way lightning often accompanied thunder. “I can beat you sober, too.”

Hale only huffed in response, feeling a bit sour to see yet another ball of hers land in one of the table’s pockets.

“Besides,” The smile that played on her lips as she looked through her lashes at him was very quickly edging into the territory of being a smirk, “Taking my drink won’t help you. It’s kind of an open bar tonight.”

Well, it wasn’t - Trick had come and gone a few times, and he obviously had some sort of magic in place because he always managed to reappear just in time for a patron to approach the bar, but Kenzi was (mostly) free to dip behind the bar for a beer. The pub’s owner had not yet appeared in the times she’d already gone behind it, so she assumed she was getting a solid pass from him tonight.

“Speaking of, where _is_ Trick?” Hale questioned, leaning most of his weight onto the cue stick he held between his hands. “I haven’t seen him much. It’s not like him to allow you free reign of his liquor stock.”

“I dunno,” Kenzi shrugged, glancing over her shoulder towards the back of the bar, “He said he was entertaining some Gorgons tonight.” For what she had no clue.

“Gorgons?” He groaned, “I think I forfeit this game. You win again, Kenz.”

She had just begun to reach for the beer he had tried to take away from her, but the sound of discomfort in his voice drew up memories that made her think twice. The ale wasn’t spiked this time, but she hadn’t forgotten what it was like before. Everyone had switched places thanks to Reynard and his ridiculous plan to put gorgon blood in the ale, and Kenzi had ended up inside Dyson’s body.

And while the idea of that happening sounded like it could be nice – most people on planet earth had to at least somewhat appreciate Dyson’s body, and she was not an exception, even if she tried not to acknowledge it too much - it had actually been a very lonely and cold experience. She harbored her own bad memories and tangled feelings, but the way she had felt while basically being him had been almost worse in a way. So empty and apathetic, but also so hurt and complicated at the same time.

She did _not_ want a repeat, especially now that she was dealing with new stuff. The last thing she wanted was someone inside her head, knowing what she was feeling and thinking and trying to deal with. And that was precisely the reason why she hadn’t said a word to Dyson about the switch since, and she’d sworn to keep it all to herself, too.

But… she had gotten his love back, hadn’t she? Kenzi had straight up tried to destroy the Norn’s sacred tree as a threat (could it still be considered a threat if you were absolutely, one hundred percent willing to go through with it?) to make sure Dyson didn’t feel that way anymore, but she had no clue if it had worked.

She needed to know. Right now. Because it had to have worked, because if it didn’t that would mean that Dyson was still miserable and he had done so much for her that she couldn’t possibly let him—

“Hello? Earth to Kenzi?” The sound of Hale’s voice dragged her out of her thoughts and back to the present to find him staring at her like she’d grown three heads and waving his hand back and forth across her face.

“I gotta go,” Kenzi blurted suddenly, miraculously managing the self-restraint to not knock his hand out of her personal space as she laid her pool stick on the table. “I’ll see you later, ‘kay?”

She didn’t wait for him to get a word out in response, dipping through the light crowd dancing in the bar and out the door into the rain to hail a taxi cab.


	2. Into the Wolf’s Den

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m not very good at keeping a regular positing schedule, due to my hectic life and heavy workload, buuut here’s chapter two~
> 
> and to make up for taking forever, it’s a little extra long, too

“Right h-here is fine,” Kenzi spoke through chattering teeth to the cab driver, letting him know that she was okay getting out on the street in front of her destination.

Despite the dreary weather outside, she was eager to escape the confinement of the small taxi car. Rain was pouring down in sheets, worse than when she had originally left The Dál, and it was beyond freezing but it still seemed more preferable to her than continuing to be in the cabby’s company. Not that he was a total creep – he just seemed to be a little too eager and friendly, but otherwise had no other red flags – but she was more weary of strangers now than she has ever been before, and that was saying something considering Kenzi had never trusted anyone else further than she could throw them until she met Bo.

“Are’ya sure, miss?” The older man – was his name Tom? Or maybe Todd? – turned to glance over his shoulder at her, eyes flicking from her to the window. “You ain’t carryin’ an umbrella ‘n the weather looks awful terrible.”

Despite her desire to bolt straight out of the car, Kenzi fixed him with a sharp smile and a nod of assurance. Shaking fingers fumbled around the plastic bag on her lap as she searched for the change she had thrown into it. With the money she had won from Hale, she’d asked the driver to make a quick stop and had gotten herself a coffee and a box of donuts for the werewolf she was visiting. Without thinking, she had thrown the leftover dollars and change into the bag with the receipt.

“I’ll be fine.” She said as she finally withdrew a ten from the bottom of the bag, “Keep the change. Have a good night, taxi man.”

He bid her a good night as she slid across the leather seats and out of the car, barely pausing to shut the yellow door back as she tried to rush through the rain to avoid getting soaked. Her effort didn’t really matter much, though, because she could feel water dripping down her back before she ever even reached the steps that lead up to Dyson’s apartment.

Kenzi ran up the cement steps as fast as her heels would allow, practically taking them two at a time. Luckily for her, the door waiting at the top was unlocked and there was no need to hit a button to ask permission to be buzzed in. Happily inside and away from the rain, she tried to remember which apartment belonged to her favorite wolf-man. Coincidentally, he was also the _only_ wolf-shifting fae she knew, but still.

Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t that hard to figure out which worn, faded green apartment door belonged to him. Kenzi just couldn’t see Dyson decorating his doorstep with sunflowers in ‘country-chic’ tin buckets, or with a doormat that exclaimed to the world how much the person inside thought ‘live, love, laugh’ was an acceptable motto.

No, his was the only plain one, all the way up on the second floor and the last door on the farthest end of the hall, on the left side.

A normal person with awareness of boundaries (and respect for them) would have knocked and waited to be let in, but that just wasn’t Kenzi’s style. Truth be told, she actually wasn’t above breaking in if she needed to – and it didn’t look like it would be all that hard, considering the lock on the door was probably an original from when the building had first been constructed. She could probably crack that bitch open with a half-broken bobby pin, her eyes blindfolded and both hands tied behind her back.

It wasn’t her fault she came from a family of con artists that operated like a criminal organization, or some kind of mafia.

For what it was worth, though, Kenzi didn’t attempt to break in. Not that it would have mattered, because as she shifted her now room temperature coffee into her other hand to twist at the doorknob, she discovered it was unlocked.

 _Huh,_ She thought as she watched the door swing open, _I guess when you’re the Big Bad Wolf, locking your door is low on the priority list._

What was going to try and get the jump on a wolf shifting fae? Probably not much, at least not anything that would likely live to tell about it.

“Dyson?” Kenzi called out his name, although she already knew the apartment was empty before she even stepped over the threshold. If he had been home, he would have already been at the door before she had ever laid a finger on it, probably. She wasn’t entirely sure just how well his wolf-senses were, or how far those abilities extended, but he could hear and smell pretty damn well. Better than humans could, for sure.

It felt a little strange to be in someone else’s place alone, but her mind was made up for her as a wave of thunder rolled across the sky, shaking the wooden floor beneath her feet. Nearly immediately, lightning followed with a loud crack, making the dark-haired female jump.

“Yeah, fuck the weather. I can wait.”

She told the empty apartment, spinning on her heel to shut and lock the door behind her. Dyson may have not been afraid of anything, but she at least didn’t want to make it easy on someone foolish enough to break in.

She wasn’t going to admit to being scared, though.

Pulling the box of donuts out of the bag, Kenzi made herself a little at home – she flipped the light on over the stove, threw the plastic bag into the trash and even dared to open the fridge. The only drink options were water and beer, so she pulled out a bottle of water and moved on, taking it with her as she took the time to absorb the apartment and all it’s… wolfy-ness.

In some ways, it was both exactly what she expected and far less than she imagined. It lacked any real sense of being a home. As far as she could tell, the most personal items in the whole place were the vinyl records shoved into a box in the corner. It was a bit on the utilitarian side; a punching bag took up a fair amount of space in one corner, a desk littered with paperwork but missing an actual laptop. Even the bed was minimal, made to look neat but entirely in shades of grey.

 _No wonder he’s depressed,_ She sighed, twisting the cap off of her water as she perched on the edge of the mattress. _Place has the same color-scheme as a graveyard._

Lacking a real source of entertainment, (she made a mental note to get him a tv for his birthday, whenever that was) Kenzi whipped out her phone and clicked through the apps to find the games she kept specifically for instances like this. Tapping on the one that was a more modern, competitive game of snake – you got to trap and eat other players in real time, it was great – she unzipped the back of her boots (the decorations on the front were merely just that) and kicked them off to twist further up onto the bed and make herself comfortable while she waited.

+

As much as he loved the sun, he favored the rain even more. Every time water rolled through, it acted like a cleanser for the world, washing away the scents left behind by humans and fae alike on their day-to-day activities. It allowed him to breathe deeper, more freely, without his sense of smell undergoing attack, and he relished the tranquility that accompanied the rain clouds. A time or two it had made his life a bit more difficult – it was harder to find a suspect when the rain had taken away most of the scent trail, and it was even more frustrating to be in a race against the clouds and time to complete a case – but the peace he felt when he could no longer smell _everything_ was worth it in his eyes.

With the upcoming storm, Dyson had decided to take a much needed break. It was as if the universe knew all of the emotions raging on within him, and it created a weather event to signal that it, too, understood what it was like to be a creature of such turmoil.

For the past… several hours of which he had seriously lost track, he had been taking advantage of the cooler weather (it was much more preferable to someone who ran so hot all of the time) and had given into his wolf, spending time running around the woods and chasing rabbits to clear his head. It was exhilarating, and almost like hitting a reset button on his body – it left him exhausted and feeling something like being jet lagged, but after a day of recovering and eating practically every food he came into contact with, he would feel like he had just spent a thousand years in a spa of the gods.

At least physically, anyways. Mentally his head was still a bit cloudy, but with the amount of energy he’d spent, his thoughts were slow-forming and less volatile than before. So, thinking was less of a requirement than normal.

With his body practically on autopilot, every step forwards felt like an eternity. Each one was slow, the muscles in his body aching in protest, but at least they were steps forwards in the right direction – towards his _bed_. The idea of his mattress - even a little too firm as it were - was the only thing more enticing than continuing to run free under the light of the full moon, and the only reason he was even returning home.

If the rain hadn’t come, Dyson would have smelled her before he ever even stepped foot onto the sidewalk in front of his apartment building. The moment he opened his car door, her presence would have been evident. But it seemed that was how the universe worked. Or, rather, how it didn’t. Of course, the water had washed away all the scents left behind, leaving only a barely perceptible trace of so many different smells mingled together that it would’ve been impossible for him to try and pick out a specific one, had he wanted to try.

Kenzi’s presence didn’t hit his senses until he was well beyond the doorway and inside away from the elements. Immediately, something inside him shifted. Whether it was waking to perk up at her proximity, or it was beginning to brim over with anxiety, he was uncertain, but it was a stark contrast to the exhaustion that settled into his bones.

A part of him told him to go back to the woods, but a stronger part – the part that wanted to be surrounded by the smell of honeyed wildflowers and the light spice of cinnamon – propelled him forwards, making Dyson enter his apartment so quickly that the door swung hard on its hinges, practically slamming behind him of its own accord.

The sudden noise pulled the dark haired girl from sleep immediately. Even without needing to see her, he could smell the brief panic that rolled off her body. His eyes adjusted quickly, allowing him to see perfectly in the dark of the small studio and making him witness to Kenzi as she scrambled backwards, smacking her head and shoulders into the wall the bed was pushed against.

”Oww.” She whined, her hands flying to clutch at the top of her head just as Dyson’s stomach twisted itself into a knot. He hadn’t meant to startle her, but while the apology formed like it should have inside his head, different words came out.

”What are you doing here, Kenzi?” His voice was unintentionally harsh, just as uncontrollable as his tongue, apparently. It wasn’t even that he minded that she was there, because he didn’t. Not really. It was just difficult to keep the memories of killing her – the _fake_ her, Inari, he had to remind himself – away. Just as hard as it was to accept that he had failed her.

“I came to see you,” Kenzi pouted, pulling her hands down from the spot she was rubbing on her head. The sense of panic had dissipated, the emotions that were left behind were too clouded together for Dyson to read, especially in his state of exhaustion. “I would’ve left, but it was storming and I decided to wait.” She didn’t include that she’d already spent all her money – on coffee and donuts and cab fare.

Dyson glanced away to let his gaze wander around the room, landing anywhere that wasn’t her. Eventually, grey-blue eyes fell on a green and white box that could only contain donuts. The smell of freshly baked dough covered in sugar and chocolate-y confections had originally gone unnoticed, but was now making its presence very well known.

“I’m here now,” He pointed out as he opened the box, plucking out the first donut he saw. It was some kind of jelly filled, and covered in a thick layer of chocolate icing. “How long have you been waiting?” And would it be rude of him to eat _all_ of the donuts by himself?

“Oh, um,” Kenzi pushed away from the wall, patting her hands around the surface of the bed in search of her phone. When she couldn’t find it, she offered him a shrug. “I don’t know. A couple of hours, maybe? What time is it?” It was still dark and still raining, so it couldn’t have been all that long. At least, she hoped not.

She didn’t even remember falling asleep in the first place. She definitely hadn’t meant to pass out, it just kind of happened. One minute, she’s flipping little angry looking birds to smash the buildings of thieving green pigs, and the next, she’s bumping her head because she didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings. It was ridiculous. At home, in her own bed, it took her what seemed like forever to fall asleep, if she even managed. There had been quite a few days where she hadn’t slept at all.

 _Great, so all I need to sleep at night is eau du Wolfman._ Kenzi thought to herself, managing to keep a snort of laughter held back. Amusement was still evident on her face, however, as she watched Dyson devour the donut he’d picked up and immediately reach for another.

“I don’t know. Late.” He managed the response around a mouthful of donut, this one chocolate and covered in rainbow sprinkles. Out in the woods, he had shed all connection to the modern world. His phone, watch and even his car had been left behind for many, many hours. And his phone and watch still sat locked up in the glovebox, untouched and nearly forgotten.

Taking the box of pastries with him, Dyson pulled away from the counter and moved towards the bed until he was able to perch on the edge. There was enough distance between him and Kenzi, but he still felt as though he were tip-toeing along an invisible line of some kind. He jiggled the box slightly as a distraction to himself, extending it towards her after in offering.

He watched her pick a donut – specifically a pink strawberry glaze with chocolate drizzle, he noted – before speaking again. “Kenzi, why are you here?”

She tried not to be offended. Really, she did. But the way the question hit her made the muscles of her shoulders tense up. Briefly, she locked eyes with Dyson and in those few seconds, she saw something on his face change, enough to make her quickly avert her gaze and focus on the donut now in her hands.

“How are you feeling?” The question came out loudly, blurted after the silence of her hesitation. Bright blue eyes flicked back up to find him, searching his face for the truth, whether he wanted to freely give it or not.

Surprise shifted across his features and his brow furrowed, confusion flooding him. The human girl before him had just undergone a trauma of sorts – being kidnapped and starved and alone was definitely traumatic – and yet she was asking _him_ how _he_ was doing? He almost wanted to laugh.

“Kenzi, I should be asking _you_ how you’re doing, w–”

“No! No, not about that.” Kenzi cut him off mid-sentence, desperately wanting to interrupt that train of conversation and where it was headed. She didn’t know what had happened in her absence, exactly, as Bo skirted over most of the details in ‘hopes of moving forwards’. “No. I mean,” She paused to consider her words, glancing back at her hands to watch her fingers pull a piece of the donut apart, “I _mean_ , how do you feel, now that you got your love back? You did get it back, didn’t you?”

Dyson was at a loss for words. He simply watched her pop the small piece of the sweet into her mouth as he scrambled to come up with an answer for her. Truthfully, he didn’t think he felt all that different. He felt… attracted to women again, but there was a lack of… _love_ , or at least he thought so. He felt the same otherwise, and nothing had changed with Bo. At least, nothing since the original change of giving his love away to begin with.

It was almost like a cosmic reset button had been hit. Like the universe said, ‘here, you can have your feelings back, but you’ll have none, only the potential is there’. So, was it really back? He didn’t feel any more or less complete than before.

His mind flashed images at him, bombarding him with the memory of Kenzi – _Inari_ – in his bed. And now, here they were again, only this time it was the real Kenzi and the circumstances were extremely different and she had made no actual move toward him. In fact, she seemed to be trying to keep her distance the same as he was.

“Hello? Earth to Dyson.” Kenzi called out as she waved one of her hands across from his face, bringing him back to the present and causing him to swallow hard.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, glancing down at the box resting between them. He picked out another donut to give himself another moment before having to answer. “I guess… I don’t feel all that different.” Dyson told her finally, still studying the donuts as if they were the most interesting thing on the planet. “I just feel like myself.”

Kenzi was quiet for a moment as she digested his response. While she worked through her own thoughts, she focused on actually eating the rest of the dessert in her hand, taking each bite almost like a grain of salt. If he didn’t feel any different, did what she had done even help? Or matter? She had meddled in a place she didn’t belong – sometimes, it seemed as though she would never belong in the fae world no matter how hard she tried to – and ended up worse for it, but she had done to help Dyson. To make him feel better.

“You have done nothing wrong.” He assured her, almost as if he was reading her mind. She looked back at him and opened her mouth for words to come out, but he shook his head. “It was my own doing,” Dyson continued, “I willingly gave it up, and it was not your responsibility to get it back. But I appreciate it, Kenzi. Really, I do. Thank you.”

Sometimes, the wolfman could be incredibly stoic and mysterious. But in rare occurrences, he was also very transparent and almost comfortable, comfortable in a way that Kenzi couldn’t describe. And now was one of those times.

“It was my responsibility,” She corrected gently. “You are my friend, and I care about you. I would do the same for Bo, or Hale, or even Trick if I had to.” Besides, Dyson had promised to protect her, and what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t try to return the favor as best she could?

A terrible one. And Kenzi Malikov was a lot of things, but she sure as hell wasn’t a shitty friend.

+

Bo twisted under silk sheets, sighing lightly as she slid her body away from Lauren’s to turn over, twisting towards the edge of the bed just far enough to snatch her phone off the side table. She drew the device close to her face, only wincing a little at the brightness as she powered it back up. Surprisingly, there was no notifications. Nothing. No texts from anyone, not even Kenzi.

That was strange to her all on its own. By now, it would’ve been completely normal for her phone to have practically blown up with texts, some of them sexual innuendos and jokes, but a lot of them random bursts from Kenzi about new ideas that were coming to her, drunk and sober.

 _She’s been so different since that whole kitsune thing._ Bo frowned to herself, glancing over her shoulder to Lauren. She was still asleep, and likely would be for several more hours, but she didn’t want to leave her. She hadn’t heard Kenzi come in, something not quite as unusual as the radio silence, but she wanted to assume that her best friend was fine. Maybe in bed, even.

But she’d still text her, just to be sure.

_still breaking in the new shoes?_

Bo pressed send and waited for a few seconds before closing her phone and returning it to the nightstand. Surely if Kenzi needed something, she’d call. Trying to dampen the concern for her friend – she didn’t want to smother her, or worry over nothing – she turned back to Lauren, wrapping her arm over the frame of the other woman and shutting her eyes to wait for sleep to claim her again.

+

“So, D-man, where’ve you been hiding out this whole time?” Kenzi continued her line of questioning, both out of genuine curiosity and with the hope that he wouldn’t want to talk about what happened with Inari. “No offense, but you kind of smell like dirt.” Earthy. Dyson smelled like the earth, like fresh rain and pine and something spicy she couldn’t place. It definitely wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t about to miss out on the opportunity to tease him.

 _“Dirt?”_ Dyson laughed for what was maybe the first time in days, a light chuckle reverberating through his chest. “I suppose that’s accurate. I’ve been…” what was he supposed to say? That he wolfed out to destress and cope with what he thought he had done to her? “Camping.” He settled for that explanation with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“Okay,” She accepted his answer, even though she wasn’t entirely sure that she believed it, at least not wholly. “So you’re into camping. Are you not a fan of modern electronics? Because you could really use a–”

”Your phone’s vibrating.” Dyson interrupted without meaning to, the buzzing noise a distraction only to him. The device was buried somewhere under the sheets of his bed, or shoved under one of the pillows, and while the vibration on memory foam went unnoticed by human ears, his hearing was much more delicate and sensitive.

That drew Kenzi’s attention and she scrambled to find her cellphone, twisting around to dig around under the pillows until she discovered it. It had to be Bo. She knew that because the other woman was pretty much the only person to ever text her, besides Hale and, on occasion, Dyson. Trick usually called, Hale was probably well asleep, and the shifter was sitting across from her.

Just as she guessed, the moment the screen lit it up it revealed a line of text from Bo-Bo. It was her way of asking if she was good, without actually having to ask it and risk looking like an overprotective worrier. Honestly, some days, Kenzi believed the two of them knew each other almost too well.

Dyson stayed quiet as he watched Kenzi type back a response, her dinners flying so fast that whatever she was writing was over within seconds. “Bo?” He guessed easily.

“Yeah, she’s checking up, I guess.” She shrugged her shoulders lightly. It made sense – it was nearly four in the morning. She’d been at Dyson’s for hours now.

He nodded his head in response. It made sense that she would be worried. Surely, all of them were feeling some sort of residual guilt - not only because they failed to believe Bo when she tried to tell them the truth, but because they had all failed to protect Kenzi to begin with. It was different for her. She was human – and a tiny one, at that – and more fragile than the fae around her. Her life was much more dangerous, simply because she associated with them. Most fae would just as soon eat her as they would bother to learn her name, and it was a fact that they all knew.

Even her.

“How are you doing?” The question was a tentative one, his voice gentle. He knew all too well how fresh a wound could seem, whether it happened one day ago or a thousand years, and the last thing he wanted to do was go poking around in places she was likely still hurting. Ones he was hurting in, too.

Again, Kenzi’s reaction was immediate and involuntary, her entire body tensing up - and nothing had even been mentioned directly in relation to the kitsune and her attempt to erase Kenzi out of her own life.

“I’m fine,” She told him, doing her absolute best not to sound like she was being short. “I… still feel like I’m there sometimes, instead of being here, but I’m good.” Her voice was filled with insistence, as she was silently willing him to just let it go and not press on. “I should probably be getting home. Y’know, so Bo doesn’t start a search and rescue.”

Dyson could have said a lot. He could have been more persistent with his questions on her wellbeing, if she was truly doing as alright as she was trying to claim she was, and if she hadn’t told Bo where she was. As much as he wanted to find out more, all of his greater instincts told him to let her be. At least for the time being. It was late, and surely they were both exhausted, and she was right — at some point, she’d need to return home.

”I’ll drive you.” The offer was quick to form, but the small ghost of a smile that tugged the corners of his lips upwards was much, much slower. “It’s late, dark and still raining outside.” He didn’t give her much room to protest as he pushed up from the mattress and stretched his arms backwards over his head, the joints of his shoulders popping from the movement.

Kenzi took the hand that was offered to her after his stretch and allowed him to pull her to her feet so that she could collect her few things.

+

The drive was an easy one. It was so late that there weren’t many cars out and about, and the ones that were either were picking up drunk clubbers and bar goers, or they were driven by those who hid in the darkness – fae, and likely most of the more unsavory favor. It made Kenzi feel better that she had accepted Dyson’s offer to drive her, rather than her attempting to walk home.

For most of their time in the car, the only noise was the songs that came from the radio. Laid-back and mellowed out tunes that only made her relax further, her small body practically sinking into the leather seats. The heaters were at full blast and the vehicle was so comfortable and toasty that she was almost disappointed when the ride was over.

 _Almost._

Kenzi had just touched her fingertips to the door handle when Dyson reached out, catching the edge of her elbow with a touch so light, it was barely even there. Still, it was there enough to stop her and she twisted in the seat to face him, her head tilting slightly as she waited for him to speak.

“Kenzi, I want to say that I’m sorry.” Dyson had said it before but he was going to say it again. He would say it a million times, as many as he needed to until he felt that it was enough. “I should have known. I should have believed Bo, and it never should have happened to you.” Soon, his voice would be only a lump in his throat. But possibly even sooner, Kenzi was going to break out into complete tears.

“Dyson–” she tried to interrupt, but he shook his head and drew his touch away from her.

“No, what I say is the truth. It should not have happened, but it did. So… so, if there’s anything you want to talk about, anything at all,” His eyes found hers and at that moment, Kenzi felt stuck, like she was cemented in place right there in the passenger seat. “I want you to know that I am always here to listen. Even if I don’t help much, you can always talk to me.”

And there it was. The overwhelming desire to spill her guts to him rising up like bile in the back of her throat. For about thirty whole seconds, she just stayed rooted there, trying to keep her breathing under control because with every breath, it felt like her chest cavity was going to crack right open and all of the contents would spill out, laying her troubles bare for him to see.

Kenzi finally managed to nod as she pulled herself together, shoving all the words that were threatening to pour out of her mouth down hard. “Thanks, D-Man.” She have him a soft smile as she pulled on the handle with a click and pushed the door open. “Go home and get some rest.”

”Goodnight.” Dyson smiled back as she slid out of the seat. “And thank you for the donuts.” Kenzi flashed a broad grin over her shoulder at him before she shut the car door, quickly bounding up the steps and into the place she called home before he had even thought about putting the car in gear.


End file.
